2007-03-20 - 10:58 p.m.

okay, i'm starting to get really nervous about finishing the binded trilogy. i mean, i have been working on this thing for over a decade. it just seems so strange that it won't be a part of daily life anymore.

i've still got a bit to go. i'm a couple of pages from the climax and then there's the epilogue to write. i'm worried about the ending. i don't want it to be cheesy or a let down.

if i didn't have other novels to work on i'm not sure if i'd be able to finish it at all. it's like writing this thing has become my life's purpose and it's almost like i'm afraid life will no longer have meaning once i'm done.

and sometimes i feel like it's missing something. like it lacks direction. though that feeling will probably go away once some people have read the whole thing and given me some feedback. ...it'll be a while though.

and i realize now that if i want to finish it by next week, i'll have to get it done soon. toasted cheese is having their short story contest on the weekend and i want to participate.

it doesn't really matter when i finish the book, but i have this obsession to get it done as soon as possible. i've been obsessed with writing it all along. and when i get on a real roll, i've been known to skip all kinds of things - like homework, outings with friends, and lots of sleep - in order to get as much on paper as possible.

lately, i've been skipping the gym to come home from work early and write. or ignoring mike and the dogs to hide in my room and madly scribble words. or using "i'm too tired" as an excuse not to go out - like to the movies or something - so i could stay home and write.

it's like some terribly wonderful addiction. and it will be strange not having it around.

but once i actually finish penning it, i've got to type it. and then edit it. and then let people read it, gather feedback, and edit some more.

i'm also going to wean myself off of my writing addiction by getting myself addicted to books again. by the time i've read all the books on my shelf i should be well over my writing withdrawal and ready to start writing again.

i'll be able to start obsessing over dark vengeance. and i've got at least one more book in my brain after that one. so who knows.

it just makes me nervous to think about.

daily dose of stupid:
no-brainer
comic spike milligan: "how long was i in the army? five-foot-eleven."

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