2006-02-03 - 4:16 p.m.

i got another rejection letter today. it took me over an hour to build up the courage to open it. after that first one was so nasty i'm afraid to open any of them, even though the last two have been fine.

these rejections also have a way of killing my desire to write for a few days/weeks. and since i've been on a roll with "the binded 3" i really didn't want to derail my creative train.

luckily, that hasn't happened. especially since i've got a couple of essays that i should be working on. one of them is due this monday, and one due next monday. oh yeah, and i have a midterm in between.

i can hardly wait.

but i really want to write. i'm incredibly inspired right now. i hadn't been able to see past this chapter for years, and now i see the next chapter almost to the end of the book.

unfortunately the next scene deals with an issue that's disturbing to me. i don't want to write it. but it's what happens. it's how the story is supposed to go. i'd rather just take it out, but that wouldn't be true to the story. damn.

oh well, it's only a short scene. and ends well enough i suppose. then on to the good stuff, and the next chapter! squee! i've been so incredibly stuck on this story for so long and it's great to be writing it again.

it wasn't just writer's block. it was more like a dam. a bit of inspiration would trickle through now and then. haha, i guess the damn has broken. or at least sprung a fatal leak. finally.

hello there
the angel from my nightmare
the shadow in the background of the morgue
the unsuspecting victim
of darkness in the valley
we can live like jack and sally
if we want
where you can always find me
and we'll have halloween on christmas
and in the night we'll wish this never ends
we'll wish this never ends

-from "i miss you" by blink 182

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